Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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