I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
try to milk me bitch
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
