Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
