worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
