Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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