my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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