shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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