is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
