i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
