No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
