Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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