If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think people are normalizing furries
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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