Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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