I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
