Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
