Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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