Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
