You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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