The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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