I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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