If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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