I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
