What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
