Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
