He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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