there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
