lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
