Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
