omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
This gyro tastes like lonliness
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
