Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
