Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
