dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
