I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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