if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
