I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
