toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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