Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
