mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
