dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
