I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
