Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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