the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
