I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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