I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
