i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize