just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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