I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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