She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
