great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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