Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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