We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
