at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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