How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize