Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
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If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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