Is it because I queefed?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
