think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
where are you?
Hypothermia
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
